Hi everyone!
So it's been a pretty crazy few months, huh?!
Here in the UK, the way the British government has dealt with the pandemic can only be described as questionable, and it's left a lot of us feeling pretty weary and frustrated! Some things seem like they will never go back to how they were before. However, now that we're allowed out and about again, life is starting to get back to normal.
As lockdown has been easing over the past few weeks, I've spent some time thinking about what I've learnt from these last few months. I'm incredibly lucky that I haven't known anybody who has been seriously impacted by the virus, and so it has been a very introspective time. My heart goes out to all those who have lost family or friends, who have lost jobs, or whose lives have been affected in other ways.
For those of you, who have, like me, experienced little change apart from staring at the walls of home a heck of a lot more, I've compiled a little list of the lessons I've learnt over this time.
Maybe you'll relate to some of them, but whether you do or not, I hope you enjoy!
Lesson 1: My Family Is Everything
This seems like a bit of a no brainer, but hear me out.
My family and I have always been close, and I've always had a particularly strong bond with my mum. That's nothing new. However, being forced to stay away from family has been really tough, as a lot of the time all I wanted to do was see their faces. I'm lucky that I live within walking distance of my mum, my sister and baby niece and so still got to see them from a distance.
This time really made me appreciate just how fortunate I am to have such a supportive family. I know not everybody has great relationships with their families, and not everybody can maintain close bonds whilst being true to themselves. However, I am one of the lucky ones, and this time has taught me to really appreciate mine. I'm the most comfortable, relaxed and happy I ever am when I'm around them, and I'm glad they're mine.
If you're lucky enough to have a supportive family, make sure you treasure them.
Lesson 2: I Know What I Want From My Life
It's a weird situation to be taken out of work and told to sit at home and wait until you get to come back. Again, I've been fortunate in that I've still had an income over this difficult time, and that I know I have a job to go back to eventually. However, it's given me food for thought.
I've had some time to think about my career, my aspirations, and just generally what I want from my life. I love my job working in a university, as I'm helping students every day. However, I'm also studying a part time Masters by Research (in History, if anybody is interested!), and this time has really let me enjoy that part of my life. In the stresses of my normal routine, I often see my thesis as a chore that needs to be tolerated, but having that be the main focus of my life has been really beneficial. I know for sure now that when this is done, I'd like to continue studying and researching for as long as I can, and maybe eventually work in the university as a lecturer and researcher someday.
It's okay not to know what you want from life, and I certainly don't have it all figured out yet, but thinking about it realistically is the first step. Every day is a chance for reinvention, and we should always be working towards our ultimate goals.
Lesson 3: I've Met My Soulmate
When we were in the first week of lockdown, I remember seeing a segment on the morning news about couples, and how many had been forced to take the plunge and move in together - at least temporarily - for the lockdown period. My boyfriend and I fell into this category. I live alone whilst he still lives with family, and so he moved in with me temporarily so we could support each other through the strange weeks to follow.
If I'm honest, I fully expected there to be some friction. My home is tiny, and we'd only been together about 8 months by this point. We'd talked about our future plans for moving in together, but being pushed into that situation unexpectedly is very different. However, we actually only had very minor disagreements, and we dealt with these so well. The way we've been able to co-exist for so long together has just made me realise that this relationship is one that is going to last. The kindness and mutual respect that we feel for each other meant our communication was always very open, and I've only ever felt support and appreciation through both the highs and lows.
I always rolled my eyes when people would say to me that when you were in the right relationship, you would just know. But it's true. You can just feel it in every moment, and lockdown has really solidified this for me.
Lesson 4: Self-Care And Me-Time Are Important
This is one that, although I have always known, I have always struggled to put into practice. My normal life is a haze of work, studying, maintaining my social connections, keeping up with hobbies, and trying to stay alive on top of it.
Having so much time with my life stripped back has shown me that actually, I'm healthier and happier when I schedule in some me-time. It's made me remember how exhausted and stressed I was all the time, and that having alone time every once in a while to recharge is necessary. I no longer want to be that enormous ball of stress that didn't understand that work-life balance was a thing. From now on, I want to ensure I look after myself before I make too many plans, as it's that self care that will allow me to actually enjoy myself!
Self care is not just desirable - it's vital!
Lesson 5: Not All Friendships Are Valuable
For most of my life, I've always tried to maintain as many friendships as possible. I've loved having different circles of friends to chat to and meet up with. However, lockdown has made me really consider which friendships are really valuable to my life, and which are not as central. Lockdown has made me think about which friends I'm actually excited to see again.
I think this is partly an age thing. I'm 26 now, and so I'm no longer interested in having as many friends as I can just for the sake of it. Instead, I want to put this effort into nurturing the friendships that bring me joy and fulfilment. I have a core group of friends that I originally met through work a couple of years ago, and who I now speak to nearly every. I also have a number of friends from other areas of my life who I don't speak to every day, but who also bring me a lot of happiness. When we do speak and meet up, they ask me about my job, my relationship and genuinely want to know how I really am. These are the kinds of friends that deserve to be kept.
I've outgrown the friendships that are based on superficial conversations or cattiness. I don't want to continue friendships where I know my life decisions are up for discussion behind my back. I haven't got time for friendships that send my anxiety and sadness through the roof. This social time out has really proved to me which friendships I value and can see continuing to thrive.
Lesson 6: Health And Fitness Are Important For A Happy Routine
Let me just start by saying that I've never really been too into health and fitness. I love to eat, and aside from inconsistent periods of running, I'd never really taken exercise seriously. When lockdown started, there was obviously a lot of discussion about the benefits of continuing exercise whilst at home.
Out of work and in a small home, I decided that if I was going to avoid gaining weight, I would really need to try and commit to a program of exercise and (at least partly) healthy eating.
Now, at the end of lockdown, I can see just how beneficial these habits have become for me. Not only do I physically feel a lot less lethargic and bloated, but mentally I can also feel enormous improvements. For somebody who has always suffered from bouts of poor mental health, I know that exercise has been linked to a healthier head. Yet it wasn't until trying it for myself that I really felt the difference, and I'd urge others to do the same.
I'm planning on making these healthy habits more of a stable in my normal routine.
Lesson 7: No Matter The Circumstances, You Can Always Strive For More
My boyfriend and I regularly have very deep and meaningful discussions about life, love, and everything in between. One of the pieces of advice that I always refer back to is that every single one of us needs to find our joy.
I see so many people who do day jobs they hate, and who make themselves utterly miserable in the process, and I cannot understand why anybody would choose this. I do understand that some people need to make ends meet, but I'm talking about those people who are doing a job they hate out of choice, and out of the unwillingness to look for another. A full-time job makes for a huge chunk of a person's life, and it should always be something enjoyable and rewarding.
This also applies to the parts of life outside of a job as well, though. I don't think I'll ever be the kind of person to just sit around in my spare time, because there are just so many wonderful opportunities out there to explore. Whether it's further study, a fun class, making a hobby a reality, or gunning for a promotion, there is always more that we can be doing to really make the most of our lives.
Whatever it is, you need to find your joy, and don't settle for anything less. Anything less than happiness just isn't good enough.
Lesson 8: There Is So Much Of The World I Have Yet To Explore
With the world on standby, travelling has obviously pretty much ceased. At a time when a lot of us like to make the most of the summer, instead we're having to stay at home, or find 'staycations' instead.
The one thing that this has really taught me is that I have barely put a dent in all the places I'd like to visit. I'm a keen tourist, but throughout lockdown, my list of places yet to go has only increased. There are so many beautiful places, wonderful cultures, and different experiences that we can access if we only choose to tap into our adventure side. I can't wait to get back to my travel list!
Lesson 9: It's Important To Have Hobbies And Interests
This ties in to a couple of earlier points I've already made. Having so much spare time has allowed me to embrace a lot of the hobbies that I haven't had time for in a while, and also made me think of the different things I'd like to try in the future.
I love to draw but I very rarely prioritise that any more. Lockdown gave me the opportunity to dig my sketchbook out and work a little more on it. I also love to read, and blog, and a number of other things. I've always been very independent, and so I've always craved alone time. I know a lot of people who don't really have any hobbies except seeing friends, but this just doesn't count. I feel that everybody should have one or two hobbies at least that are just for them, and are not dictated by anybody else. As I said earlier, me-time is important, and keeping up with hobbies helps us to love and really improve ourselves.
Lesson 10: You Can't Take Regular Life For Granted
This is really the big one, isn't it?
I think it's something we've all felt over the past few months, but it's something we need to remember as long as possible. Being able to see family and friends whenever we want, going shopping or out to a restaurant just because we fancy it, or just being able to leave the house for work; all of these are things are staples of modern society, but, as we've seen, they can easily be taken away.
For me, I'm going to feel really grateful when I can step back into the office and sit at my desk. I can't wait to be able to head outside without worrying what the implications may be. And most of all, I'm looking forward to just meeting my boyfriend for coffee, as that's one of my favourite things to do.
Normal life is wonderful, and we need to remember not to take it for granted when we finally get it back.
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So there you have it!
I'm going to try and use what I've learnt in my life moving forwards, and remember how lucky I am to have so many wonderful people, and so many wonderful opportunities, in my life. Not everybody has that, and this time has only made me appreciate it more.
I'm interested to know: what have you learnt during lockdown?
Stay safe and well, everybody!
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